Tag Archive for: Hope

Welcome to the Club

Welcome to the club. That’s what Jim said as he pulled the needle from my arm. “You’ve saved at least one person’s life. You can’t do better than that.” I gulped and resisted a moment of emotion that I didn’t want to reveal. “Awe, thank you Jim. You and Alanna made it so painless. Thank you for what you are doing,” I said.

I’ve felt like I should be doing more. I’ve helped a friend out here and there. I’ve offered my Juggle Source services for free, and my prayer list is long, but I wasn’t sinking my teeth into anything where I could see an impact. There are so many people on the front lines, it’s hard not to be part of the equation when I am seemingly healthy. Instead, I’ve spent hours designing products and learning the skill of maintaining an Etsy store with T-shirts and other products. I recognize how crucial it is that I am creative and generate an income. I would tell anyone that’s what they too should do. Yet when life is so broken, I want to fix something. And now with what seemed like a small amount of energy, I had fixed something. No, I had saved someone. Jim said so. And he welcomed me to the club.

Over the last many years I’ve been admitted to “clubs” that I would have rather not joined, but because the direction my life took, I’d become an unwilling member. That is life. Most of us have become a member of some club we’d rather not join. Single, unemployed, illness,… the list is long. I’m starting another club: The Coronavirus Carb Club. We insiders can call it Triple C. If you know what this is, you are automatically admitted. Criteria is that you have to have had at least one baked good a day for the last week, homemade or store bought. It doesn’t matter. OK… I’m going to loosen up the criteria. If your Go To has been chips and salsa or potato chips, you’re also a member.

Being welcomed into the club felt honorable. Here I’m talking about Jim’s club, the American Red Cross, not Triple C. In the past, I’d been turned away for one reason or another. This time I was accepted. Good weight (thank you, Carb Club), good iron count, good blood pressure. Woo Hoo! Being fifty-nine in a day of coronavirus, this was good news. I had a weird sense of accomplishment, like a little satisfaction that in the face of being of “that group,” I could beat the odds. Not that I will tempt them.

Right now we are all members of a club that we didn’t choose. It’s the Coronavirus 2020 Club. There is one condition: you are alive. You don’t live in a particular country, county, or city to qualify. It is not income or socio-economic dependent. There is no consideration to profession, education, social status, race, political party, or religion. There is some preference to a certain age group (that I will not repeat), and people with underlying health conditions. But still all people in the world are active members, even if slow to accept this status.

There are a whole lot of downsides to this club. Initiation is a steep expectation to sacrifice mobility and submit to authority. For some, we will do it because we respect or fear authority. For others, we will do it because we want to do our part in keeping others safe. For some it’s to keep ourselves safe. For many, it’s for all these reasons. But some cannot conceive of the absurdity of an invisible attack on human kind. And it does seem absurd. We all recognize that this virus doesn’t line up with what we, especially Americans, know in our world of modern day medicine. These individuals can’t get past this, or some won’t let something stand in the way of progress and living their lives. Especially something they can’t see. The invisible enemies are always the hardest to confront.

In spite of our perspective, we’re all part of the club. Rules for membership are given to us via an overwhelming number of sources: TV, radio, Internet, social media, and each other. I access it all, every day, although, I’ve begun to take breaks. I even spotted info on a piece of paper lying in the middle of the road yesterday. Because it didn’t have Dr. Fauci’s name on it, I decided to place it in the garbage. We must sift through a lot of the info we hear and see, and do the same, place it in the garbage.

Really, there are three simple (not easy) rules:

  • Stay home
  • Wash your hands often
  • Keep six feet between yourself and others

Everything else is a variation of that or instructions on how to accomplish those things. 

This experience is the great equalizer. We’re all subject to the same threat and must figure out how to cope. And that we are. Before we joined this club, we often suppressed emotions, some so foreign we couldn’t identify them. So we could take on the demands of the day, we kept them at a distance, way more than six feet away. If they tried to persist, we’d be on to the next thing, never allowing grief, loneliness, insecurity, or others, to crack open that door.

Today’s rules force us to slow down, give in, submit, and stay put. Our emotions have a chance now. We can’t use our calendar of daily activities as an escape. Whatever we’re feeling as a result of this new world demands our attention, whether we like it or not. Just like Hoda Kotb’s sadness erupted without warning for all the NBC viewers to see. We think we are fine. We want to be fine. And then we are not.

But here they are, our emotions. We get to welcome them, and transform them. We don’t send them away. We don’t dwell in them. They are not to be feared. We stop. We talk with a friend. We listen to music. Sadness, loneliness, and uncertainty joins us in the moment. We say hello, acknowledge them, and in the process we discover our humanity again. We embrace them, and invite them to be useful. Our feelings of hopelessness can choose to be hopeful. Helplessness gets to choose to be helpful. Discouragement gets to choose to encourage.

I hope you feel the camaraderie of this experience that we are sharing across our city, our state, our country, and across our world, like never before in our lives. It isn’t a them and us. This is a “we.” In China, New Zealand, or Hawaii, we join God’s people all over the world. This is really really hard for them, and for us. This is really really good for them, and for us. Welcome to the club.

There are three things that I just know God created because of his abundant love for us: sports, music, and coffee. Forgive the mix of genre, but I love all three so much. And by sports, I mean competition. I suppose a person could entertain us with his basketball shooting skills on a YouTube video, but without competition, it isn’t the same.

But like you, I see so many wonderful talents via Facebook and You Tube, and I want to share them all. But since I’ve been posting more than usual for connection, and a lot as I market Juggle Source and my new Etsy Store products, I have refrained from the myriad of things I want to share with everyone!

But I have to share this. We’ve lost our sports. But hallelujah, music prevails.

It’s the Garth Brooks Gershwin Prize Season 2020 on PBS. It was an amazing experience of artists honoring Garth Brooks, with performances by Christ Stapleton (unbelievable), Trisha Yearwood (tear jerker!), and Keith Urban. But the highlight was Garth’s performances alone, in the second half. When you watch this performance, it’s clear why he was admitted to this particular club.

And thank you Jimmy Fallon for being the funniest person on earth. My schedule has been completely disrupted, and I owe some of that to you.

 

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The Little Notebook in my Purse

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  John 1: 3-5

This notebook is not my “look.” In fact, I think it’s ugly. It was one of the few things I inherited when my mom died. I knew it had its place; in my purse and out of view. It reflects my mom’s personality, and using it for God’s word was a perfect way to honor her. I decided to use this ugly little thing for the most beautiful thing: Promises that would inspire me when I needed it, or inspire others for the same reason.

MY PRAYER

Jesus, you are my life. May your light show me what you see, beyond what is right before me, and into the hearts of those around me. May your light reveal what is true and right and forever. Whatever my eyes see or I perceive, may your light provide better vision that will give hope where there is darkness, and light the path that leads myself and others toward restoration.

 

Forgive my horrible writing. In the moments when I write in this book, I’m usually cramming the gem onto the page, determined to retain the comfort for another time, but not concerned with my penmanship. I wish I could share this with you with pride in my writing style. If I could, I’d have my friend who writes beautiful calligraphy enter them. They deserve that attention.

 

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Grasping What’s At Stake

From my little book of verses in my purse.

Hmmmm. What should I write about? Did you know the world has turned upside down? And yes, the whole world! Instead of sports and politics, our news is consumed with updates on the Coronavirus, aided with pictures of germs and viruses that are blown up a million times plus. I guess the media thinks we want to know what this germ looks like up close, but I wish they would ease up on that.

I began to do my bible study this morning, and before I delved into it, I changed my mind. I have a small notebook I keep in my purse that contains many favorite verses. Instead of my bible study, I decided to indulge in receiving the comfort of those verses. No studying, just lingering in the presence of promises. Those verses melted over me, like the coolness of a morning evaporates while the sun rises into the sky, my soul warmed and snuggled into the Holy Spirit with hope and assurance that all would be well.

I’m glad I did that, because the morning’s memory rested on me like a seat belt, with a sense of security in spite of someone running a red light in my path. I ran errands for Juggle Source later in the day. Evidence all around me seemed as surreal as the colorful blown up coronavirus pictures that display on the TV screen.

Costco managed its customers with thoughtful and bold crowd management, Fred Meyer closed off coolers and other sections due to a power failure, and I heard someone say that Winco was closing for a week (that was not confirmed). There were no paper products or chicken at Costco, and shelves were bare at both stores. These scenes of unfamiliar chaos and strangeness caused me to question the certainty of this small part of the world that I know so well. Yet, my spirit was not defeated.

I was shaken, but I wanted to take it in. I want to see the people, desperate to get food that we assume will be waiting for us tomorrow. I shook my head for a minute at a woman who clearly saw that my position was ahead of her when she veered at an angle to grab my anticipated place in line.

Then I unshook my head, and thought of the opportunity I have to assist her in this tiny moment, by smiling and acknowledging her need, whatever it is. I want to see the the empty shelves and coolers, and know that I have something in common with people who live in countries half a world away from me. I want to encourage the cashier who I’ve seen a thousand times, but never paid her much attention. I want to check in on my neighbors, because being in this store in this moment might be more than what they can do on this day, and maybe more than I can do tomorrow.

I take a lot for granted, one being my health. But in this moment, I realize that I never considered some things to be precious. Toilet paper, and paper products in general, salt, touching, hugging, holding, and kissing people I love and care about.

Socializing, restaurants, and entertainment. Sports, teams, practicing, playing, competing, and preparing. Church, work, shopping, celebrations such as weddings and birthdays. These are all things precious today, tomorrow, and for who knows how long?

I want to move beyond the disappointment that this American life isn’t meeting my needs.  I want to inhale this life, breathe it in, breathe it out, but I must do it from at least six feet from you.

I want to exercise my faith in God. I want to grasp what’s at stake, take hold of it, and make use of it.

On this day I’m glad to be healthy and I hope to be used.

I’m also really grateful for “The Voice.”

And, Happy St. Patrick’s Day, and Happy Birthday, Clare.

Yum. Well, the store only had purple cabbage. I already had to wash out purple splatters on my shirt, but purple or not. It is good!

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Another Mug Hug!

Juggle Source Mug Hug

I couldn’t not post this mug! This is in reference to my Twelve Mugs of Christmas I posted in December. I’m actually a little disappointed in the quality, but still, it’s pretty special. It arrived last week on the same day I posted Juggle Source on social media, which was also pretty special.

I realized last week how much Juggle Sourcing I’m doing to build my business! I’m not building a factory or inventing a worldwide solution to garbage (although, I’d love to do that), yet with everything I have to learn, my little business feels mammoth at times.

Finding a bookkeeping program that is affordable and works well on a MacBook Pro has taken hours. After asking people and scouring the Internet, and being run through the ringer with QuickBooks, I finally settled on a trial version of FreshBooks accounting system. It’s a cloud based system that seems comprehensive, including a customer database, invoicing, expenses, time tracking, and proposal generation.

A person at FreshBooks answered the phone and answered my questions without sending me to a million other people. FreshBooks is substantially less money per month than QuickBooks, so I hope it brings me accounting happiness, especially since accounting by definition does not make me happy.

Another great experience I had was with Google. I was unable to create groups for my email through their GSuite. But their customer service is awesome and works through problems when you contact them through the GSuite Admin Console. I’ve had to connect with them a few times, and I’m amazed at how eager they are to solve my problems. It’s like having a consultant at my fingertips.

I’m making good strides in establishing Juggle Source. On to…

ONLINE DATING…

I’m making good strides there, too. Well, I guess that depends on how one interprets “good strides.” Like a turtle?

It is downright overwhelming to pour over the “matches.” I’ve slowed down from what I did in the first few days. Right now I’m kind of waiting for matches who contact me. I may step it up and initiate contact, but with starting Juggle Source, this is a good pace. EHarmony matches you with people that their system deems a good match, after you take a compatibility quiz. I posted a portion of the results under “2020 Invites Change”, about my masculine side a couple of weeks ago. But after I’d posted that, I read the personality assessment that they send new members. It’s quite lengthy, so it took me a couple of days to get to it.

I understood their assessment of my masculine side being stronger than my feminine side. Finally, some confirmation! But their bar chart showed my animus (new word for me) almost falling off the page, and anima (another new word for me) hardly noticeable. I guess their compatibility quiz didn’t account for my make up, fashion, or decorating sensibilities. As I read the report that includes explanations, there was one assessment (that I won’t share on social media), that was definitely not me. Additionally, the report considered me an introvert, and that I’m not very generous. Who is this person???

And that’s what I asked when I met with some friends the next day and then talked with a couple more on the phone. Is this me? Is this socially comfortable person a good acting job for an introvert? I was practically devastated by the results. In part because I didn’t want to throw a tantrum because I didn’t like the results, and in part because I wanted the profile that other members see to reflect who I think I am.

It helped to talk with my friends, so guess what. I asked eHarmony if I could retake the quiz.

I’d thought I’d answered everything sincerely and thoughtfully the first time, and I didn’t want to answer insincerely and sabotage genuine results. But as I took it again, I saw where I might have misunderstood a couple of questions. Another area I did change my answers was on their pictures. They could have been the culprit! There is a series of two pictures side by side and we’re asked to choose the one we like best. I remember thinking the first time, “I have no idea which picture I like better. They’re both fine!” So this time, if I had no favorite, I chose the opposite one that I’d chosen the first time.

The results made a lot more sense to me the second time around. My masculine side was still strong, but it wasn’t off the charts, and this time it showed that I am more of an extrovert, with an introvert slightly below that, which makes sense to me. The one piece that I highly objected to, but won’t share, wasn’t addressed, because the second time around they don’t provide explanations for the results. This time, the results just show up on my site.

I had my first meeting today with a very nice man, but we weren’t a match, in spite of what eHarmony said. The one thing that I do like about their site is that I can look at their profiles and have a sense of what type of a person I’m meeting. So, while I didn’t know if the man I met today was a good match for me romantically, I had a sense of whether he was a good person, which he is.

I have a friend who tells me about horror stories her sister has, but she meets men off of a site that gives her very little information about the person’s character, which I think seems like a waste of time. But that’s probably my masculine side speaking.

That’s all for now!

Joni

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Introducing My New Business – Juggle Source!

With excitement, a queasy stomach, and overflowing appreciation to the friends who have provided me with thoughtful feedback and a critical eye, I bring to you: Juggle Source. Nothing would be possible without God and his never ending encouragement. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. It has carried me through every valley and up every hill. I could not be more grateful to him.

Logo design by: Machele Brass. Her logo was exactly what I wanted in the one sentence I gave her: “I’m leaning towards a 50s look, but clean and sophisticated.” It’s driven every design aspect, and I couldn’t be more pleased. Thank you, Machele!

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