On Kobe: Twenty-Four Means More

Photo by Olivier Collet on Unsplash

When someone is as public as Kobe Bryant, we feel connected to him. Not knowing him personally doesn’t seem to matter, because publicly he stood for things to which we all can relate, or if we can’t, we want to. He was a competitor, he pursued and expected excellence, he was self aware and in retiring, he was decisive. Above all, he was a husband and father, and it appears he put as much energy into that as he did everything else. He proudly proclaimed his family man status, and “girl dad” privileges. Whether we have a dad, lost ours, or never knew ours, we understand the impact of a good father and husband.

Photo by Tina Bo on Unsplash

A good father and husband can strengthen, encourage, comfort and heal. His presence nourishes his family like the early morning dew that revives and energizes possibilities of a new day. In Kobe’s sudden departure, we see the beauty of those two roles and his example encourages us to embrace them when we have the opportunity. We can also imagine the unbearable pain of his absence. It’s the same pain we all feel when we lose a husband and a father, and for many, that is also relatable.

Kobe was a hero in our world, and in his family. It’s hard to lose a hero, but it’s not too late to be one. Thank you, Kobe.

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Introducing My New Business – Juggle Source!

With excitement, a queasy stomach, and overflowing appreciation to the friends who have provided me with thoughtful feedback and a critical eye, I bring to you: Juggle Source. Nothing would be possible without God and his never ending encouragement. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. It has carried me through every valley and up every hill. I could not be more grateful to him.

Logo design by: Machele Brass. Her logo was exactly what I wanted in the one sentence I gave her: “I’m leaning towards a 50s look, but clean and sophisticated.” It’s driven every design aspect, and I couldn’t be more pleased. Thank you, Machele!

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2020 Invites Change

Lots of things are converging this first week of 2020, none of which I thought would be at least 4 hours spent trying to assess the best way to purchase QuickBooks for my business. I’m on hold as I write this. It takes so much determination to plow through the muck. I am grateful that right now this is my job, and I am sympathetic to people who need help. Speaking of help, I am so so close to announcing my new business. I’m waiting to discuss some final touches on my announcement.

I am not a resolution type of gal. The last resolution I made was a good fifteen years ago. I vowed to drink one glass of wine a day. My tolerance was low, and I didn’t like that it affected me after just a half a glass.

Yes, when most people were vowing to stop drinking, I was vowing to drink. I was a trooper for a good 6 months or so, but I recall when I decided to quit. That’s largely in part why I don’t make resolutions. I don’t want the guilt of quitting. But I gave in. I was so sick of wine I broke my resolution in disgrace, and went back to just drinking wine on occasion, and I enjoy it again.

This is similar to when I was determined to like bleu cheese dressing. I think I was in junior high. I noticed that people who liked it, really liked it. I have always loved food. The situation of my young life might have had something to do with that. We often ate out of surplus boxes that were delivered to us. The box contained things like powdered milk, spam, peanut butter… basic staples. When I moved in to a foster home and got a chance eat decent food, I didn’t pass it up. But taking it further, I wasn’t satisfied with the normal foods kids my age liked. So back then, I set out to try bleu cheese dressing, and fell in love with it.

I still don’t like to miss out on what others are enjoying, which is a good segue to my next topic: on line dating. I’ve decided to do it.

I didn’t set out to do this or begin my business the first week of 2020. It’s like when flowers begin to burst, not because of the date on the calendar, but because of all the things that come together, they unfold before our eyes in wonder.

So, I signed up last night. I’m not eager, and in fact, dreading it would be more accurate. It’s kind of like, I want to be married, but I don’t want to date. I know how unrealistic that is. A couple of weeks ago a friend talk about her dating experiences. I wasn’t inspired about the dating, but I recognized that I could be missing out on something. Love, for example? Don’t even get me started on handyman benefits.

I asked a friend what she thought about me sharing my dating journey on my blog, and like a good friend, she said, “Why not? That’s what a blog is for!” It’s true, but at times I second guess myself. After a minute or two of contemplation I decided that this could be the most interesting thing I have to offer in my posts!

I’ve long thought that it will just happen, if it’s meant to be kind of thing. But I realize my marketability is dwindling every day that I wait for it to “just happen.” Like bleu cheese dressing, I could discover that I not only like it, but I love it.

I’ll share more with you soon, but I’ll leave you with a piece of my personality profile that made me laugh out loud. If you read my blog about being a girl (click here) you’ll recall that I have thought I’m sometimes more like a dude. Well, eHarmony concurs. I can think of a couple of friends who might think, “Ah, that explains a lot.”

I really am feminine, in many ways. But this was no surprise to me.

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Where Do We Put Our Trust?

Methodically, I’m making progress forming my business. A couple of friends have asked if I’ve gotten any business yet. I’m not yet there, folks! I want to get things in place so I’m prepared once I start. Everything is new to me, so as I work on my FORM A BUSINESS list, I’m learning as I go. I get up early to attack my list, but my days vary. Some days I begin with time reading God’s Word, some days with writing, and some days with exercise. I love the variety. I keep an activity journal of what I do each day. In the beginning I had a lot of anxiety with this change. My mind and body were at odds, as my mind forced my body to change patterns. I use the activity journal as evidence that this plan is okay and my body can be at peace with this new plan. Last week I finished my OLCC training and now have my permit (again!), I met with my tax accountant and worked on fall towels and Christmas designs. These things aren’t the essence of the business I’m going to start, but it’s a great way to bring in some money, and I want to seize on the holiday opportunity.

The most fun thing that occurred is that I received my logo drafts and have selected one. I love it and am excited to share it! The least fun (and disturbing) thing that happened is that someone took my business name and created the obvious domain name with it, meaning it is unavailable for me, unless I buy it. BUY it! For anyone who isn’t sure what that means, I’ll explain. Let’s say my business name is WINKY ROCKS (which it is not). That means someone took WINKY ROCKS and put an @WINKYROCKS.com after it. So, @WINKYROCKS.COM is taken. I, who created an LLC with “WINKY ROCKS”, cannot use WINKYROCKS.COM, unless I purchase it from the person who registered the name.

I was able to obtain information on who registered the name, but it was registered by a company called Anonymize, Inc, who anonymously registers domain names. I have contacted them by phone and email to inform them that I would like my name back, but I have not received a reply from them. Since I have not made my name public, I know that I’ve been hacked, whether on my computer, my Google account, my Legal Zoom account, or my phone (I know there are apps that can listen to our conversations, even when we’re not on our phone).

I’m unnerved and frustrated, and angry at the opportunities people have to steal from us. Unlike someone who physically intrudes or commits a crime against us, we are unable to track this activity and are left at the hands of the perpetrator, for his pleasure. My first insight to this was a book I read called, Russian Roulette: The Inside Story of Putin’s War on America and the Election of Donald Trump.

I spent hours digging up the information I discovered about the entity that registered my domain name. I talked with a friend who is in the security business, but this isn’t his area of expertise. I chatted with Google and Go Daddy, and they don’t have information that can help me.

I have a lot of take-aways in life. I have experienced a lot that has given me insight for future endeavors. This is my latest take-away: Register your domain name before you do anything else.

Our faith in technology leaves us so vulnerable. We place our lives in the hands of a Cloud that is robbing us of our time, our labor, our memories (photos and videos) and our identities. We collectively believe that technology, such as the Cloud, benefits us. That it will provide more to us than we ever thought possible, when in fact, it’s taking away from us more than we can imagine. I find it interesting that man will place his trust in something so nebulous, but considers God to be a concept that they can’t wrap their heads around.

I hate being this suspicious, but I don’t think we can be too mindful of this topic. Mindful is what I’m going to call myself, so I don’t sound like a mad woman. But mindful is what we should be. Our ordinary conversations and activities are being monitored, tracked, and recorded. In the case of my business name, I hadn’t even placed it on social media, in an effort to keep it within a safe environment until I was ready. As we innocently accept all the conveniences of technology as they’re offered up to us, we are compromising valuable information about our lives.

When I get overwhelmed at it all, I turn to what I know to be true. There is nothing nebulous about God. Proverbs 18:10 says that God is a fortified tower that the righteous run to and are safe. I don’t know if God would consider me righteous, but I will run to his tower and take my chances on him. Hebrews 10:23 says, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” I am grateful to God who reminds me to hold on, not give up, because he is not going to let me down. 

I desperately need these reminders. Every day I have reason to rely on God. While good things happened every day last week, heartbreak and anger threatened my joy. I need the truth of who he is. He is the stone that was rejected, but is actually the cornerstone on which I can rely.

 

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On Being a Girl

I love being a girl. In a time when we celebrate everything from chocolate chip cookies to best friends, pizza, dogs, margaritas and more, I’m glad to celebrate girls on International Day of the Girl.

Over the years I’ve often thought: “Man, I’m glad I’m a girl” (Funny that that sentence begins with “Man.”). I don’t know why exactly I’ve held this sentiment, because like most of us, many times I’ve I wished I were the other gender. There are the obvious moments, like once a month, or when I’m cleaning a gutter. And the less obvious, when the subtleties of a less than mind set crept into an experience, and even into my consciousness, and I questioned the value of being a girl. Yet ultimately, I’m always glad that I am, a girl.

In a Me Too era, I’ve had cause to reflect and ask if I’ve been a victim of a Me Too experience, where being a girl has put me at a disadvantage or at risk, in my personal life, or in the workplace. I’ve recalled some moments that could qualify. Fortunately, I’ve been able to escape anything that would cause me trauma. But I am able to empathize with women who have had to come head on with experiences that have been detrimental to their well being. But in those horrible moments, being a girl was not the problem.

I’ve never struggled with confidence of knowing my gender. I can’t imagine the struggle of those who are told they are a girl (or a boy), yet their spirit says otherwise. I recognize some incongruences between the stereotypical girl, and myself, but still know that I am a girl. I’ve had many moments when my mentality is more male like than female. For example, I eat more than most of my friends in a single sitting. I love red meat (the redder, the better), and before I chose to be a good example to my kids, drinking out of the milk carton was cool with me. Giving me flowers is sweet, but I’d rather have you mow the lawn or do the laundry. I love jewelry, but not at the cost of pinching pennies. I like honest feedback, and don’t like to beat around the bush. Actions mean more than words. I snicker at smack in sports. In the workplace, respect is necessary, but make your point and skip the niceties, because usually, timing is crucial. I’m impatient with call centers who ask how I am. If I’ve contacted you, I’m in the middle of a problem and am hoping for a solution, not a social experience. I’m not a fan of Girls’ Weekends, yet I love my friends and don’t know how I could do life without them.

This girl and her red meat.

This girl and her red meat.

Yikes. I’ve never listed all those things before. I sound like a dude! I know that I’m generalizing, but for years, that’s what we’ve done. It’s not uncommon for both men and women to associate being female with romance, needing or wanting expensive gifts, or being gentle in their approach. But not all women possess those traits, like not all men like to hunt.

I’m a girl who likes diamonds, flowers, candles, clothes, and in general, beautiful things. But those things do not make me a girl. I just am a girl. Probably, a practical girl!

In spite of what could be perceived as my male like mentality, I am fully a girl. I like diamonds, flowers, clothes, and in general, beautiful things. But those things do not make me a girl. I just am a girl. Probably a practical girl!

I love looking like the girl that I am. I love dressing like the girl that I am. I like what my girlness brings to my life and to the lives of others. I like the complexities of a female, such as the strength we are, and the tenderness we demonstrate. I like connecting with men (even though the last years might look otherwise), with a feminine heart and spirit. I enjoy a man who opens doors and pays for dinner. I am happy to know a man who cooks, is a caretaker, takes good care of himself, and provides for his family. I appreciate a man who does the heaving lifting. I love letting him be a man, and me be a girl. I’m not confident I can define that. I just know that I am a girl, and I am glad.

I celebrate femininity, strength, and being a girl. Happy International Day of the Girl!

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